i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize