All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
