he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
