the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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