She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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