I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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