Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
