i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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