my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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