Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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