That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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