Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
