I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
