fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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