you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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