everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
