I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
