yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize