You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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