i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Randomize
