Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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