My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
