he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
