do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
