I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
