i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
