I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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