bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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