We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We are all done wearing pants today
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
