i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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