My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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