Well douche your snatch and let's go!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
