I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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