watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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