these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
