Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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