Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Randomize
