I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She bit a glass in half.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
