the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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