i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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