i barfeds in our rink
meet me or not, i'm out of control
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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