Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
