I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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