yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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