Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
