What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
