My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
