this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
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