Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
