It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
