So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Sext me about skeletons
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
