Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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