I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
