I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
