paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
