I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
