my being single is dangerous.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
