We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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