Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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