you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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