I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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