He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
