FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
